Rory McIlroy couldn't bring himself to ring home on the night he threw away the Masters. He couldn't stand the feeling that he had let everyone down. He couldn't shake the feeling of shame.
It was the next morning, when he finally spoke to his mother Rosie, that the emotional dam broke.
'It'll be ok, Rors, you'll get plenty more chances,' said his mum.
That was what started it. Suddenly, McIlroy found himself crying like he'd never cried before.
'I felt like shouting down the phone, "But I won't get plenty more chances. That was it, I blew it. I choked",' he recalled.
'There are just so many emotions running through your head. It was probably a couple of weeks before I was able to clear my mind completely. Then you start to realise it won't be your only chance. Then you're ready to go again.'
McIlroy sat down for an hour in Dubai last week to discuss his incredible year. A year where he went from that Augusta choke to becoming the youngest European for more than a century to win a major.
A year where he was mobbed like no UK golfer we have seen at the Open Championship.
A year where he said some things he'd take back if he could.
A year where he changed his profile, changed his manager and changed his girlfriend.
A year where he sampled the two extremes of humanity, from the crushing poverty of life in Haiti to the celebrity clamour when he started going out with world No 1 tennis player Caroline Wozniacki.
Looking back over those whirlwind 12 months, McIlroy agrees with a simple summary.
'The year I grew up? Yeah, definitely,' he said.
It is fascinating to watch Rory grow up.
At Augusta he was a veritable rabbit caught in headlights. By June he had become a man on a mission when winning the US Open.
During late summer there was an obvious discomfort at the manic world he now found himself in and the nagging worry he was changing too much. Over the last month, however, this fastest of learners has become comfortable with the immense expectation and the burden, if that is the right word, of fame.
'It has been a huge change,' he conceded.
'When you look back on how I lived my life a year ago there are things I can't do now. But I'm not sad about it. Sometimes you have to make sacrifices if you want to progress. So I see less Manchester United games than I'd like, or Ulster rugby matches. It's not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. Not letting things distract you is what you've got to do.'
It was the next morning, when he finally spoke to his mother Rosie, that the emotional dam broke.
'It'll be ok, Rors, you'll get plenty more chances,' said his mum.
That was what started it. Suddenly, McIlroy found himself crying like he'd never cried before.
'I felt like shouting down the phone, "But I won't get plenty more chances. That was it, I blew it. I choked",' he recalled.
'There are just so many emotions running through your head. It was probably a couple of weeks before I was able to clear my mind completely. Then you start to realise it won't be your only chance. Then you're ready to go again.'
McIlroy sat down for an hour in Dubai last week to discuss his incredible year. A year where he went from that Augusta choke to becoming the youngest European for more than a century to win a major.
A year where he was mobbed like no UK golfer we have seen at the Open Championship.
A year where he said some things he'd take back if he could.
A year where he changed his profile, changed his manager and changed his girlfriend.
A year where he sampled the two extremes of humanity, from the crushing poverty of life in Haiti to the celebrity clamour when he started going out with world No 1 tennis player Caroline Wozniacki.
Looking back over those whirlwind 12 months, McIlroy agrees with a simple summary.
'The year I grew up? Yeah, definitely,' he said.
It is fascinating to watch Rory grow up.
At Augusta he was a veritable rabbit caught in headlights. By June he had become a man on a mission when winning the US Open.
During late summer there was an obvious discomfort at the manic world he now found himself in and the nagging worry he was changing too much. Over the last month, however, this fastest of learners has become comfortable with the immense expectation and the burden, if that is the right word, of fame.
'It has been a huge change,' he conceded.
'When you look back on how I lived my life a year ago there are things I can't do now. But I'm not sad about it. Sometimes you have to make sacrifices if you want to progress. So I see less Manchester United games than I'd like, or Ulster rugby matches. It's not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. Not letting things distract you is what you've got to do.'
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